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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182273">Day 23 - Reflection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/pseuds/GemmaRose'>GemmaRose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>OC-tober [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Transformers (IDW Generation One)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Developing Relationship, Gen, Memory Loss, Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:08:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,374</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/pseuds/GemmaRose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There is so much he does not know. About himself, about the world, about anything and everything beyond the function declared proudly by his red and white paintjob. He's pretty sure the Arsonists are good people though, even if they did name themselves after a crime.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Cybertronian Character(s) &amp; Original Cybertronian Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>OC-tober [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1958275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Day 23 - Reflection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He stared at the strip of patching metal leaned up against the cave wall, examining himself in its mirror-shined surface. His frame didn’t feel wrong, and the other medics had said his oddly coloured biolights and optics were apparently natural, but still, he felt... off. Incomplete, somehow, in a way that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with his missing memories.</p><p>“Yo, Blanks.” Calidus called from the entrance to what had been the Arsonists’ medbay. “Grab the scrap and come on out, you’re gonna help haul everything to the new base.”</p><p>“On it.” he said, grabbing the sheet and tucking it under his arm. He’d only been here for a few mega-cycles, but he was already glad to be leaving. Apparently he was a mech who liked his little comforts, like a proper berth and washracks with heated solvent. Wherever they were headed next, he hoped he would be able to clean up properly once they got there.</p><p>Calidus led him out through the maze of caves, through the oilfall, up to the surface where a broken-down highway had once spanned the river that cascaded past the hidden entrance to the Arsonists’ base. Now part of that elevated road rested on the ground, and the Arsonists were gathered around its ragged end. Calidus jogged ahead, and the crowd parted for him, letting him clamber up onto the slanted strip of asphalt next to the rest of the Arsonist leaders.</p><p>“I know you’ve been speculating.” he said, his voice pitched to carry as the low murmur of conversation died out completely. “Everyone wants to know where we’re going next, how we plan to keep ourselves safe this time. Well, the first step is that only a handful of us will know where we’re going before we get there.”</p><p>A chorus of groans rose from the crowd at that, which he didn’t understand. Didn’t they trust their leaders to, well, lead them?</p><p>“I can guarantee you though, where we’re going is safe.” Calidus promised, quelling the grumbles with raised hands and a firm tone. “We’ll be off the grid, off the Council’s radar, and if it’s in half the state it was last time I visited we’ll even have amenities.” he cracked a grin, and his shoulders shook with quiet laughter at the scattered cheers that promise drew. “We’ll be splitting up into four caravans.” he announced once the crowd grew quiet again. “Three on the ground, one in the sky. Meteor will lead the aerials ahead; they’ll scout the area and comm myself, Springer, and Geronimo if it’s unsafe. The ground caravans will leave at half-cycle intervals, and each of us will lead our group on a different route. Everyone should already know who they’re travelling with, so my group, get yourselves loaded up and gather on the ramp. We’ll roll out as soon as everyone’s ready</p><p>With that, Calidus slid back down off the road, and slipped effortlessly through the crowd to come stand in front of him. “Blanks, you’re with me. I’ll make sure you get added to the relevant contact lists once we’re settled in at the new base.”</p><p>He nodded, and Calidus smiled. “Anything else I should know, before I go load up?” he asked. Calidus looked considering for a moment, then nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, actually. You’ve met Clicky, right?”</p><p>Clicky the turbohound, Calidus’s four-legged shadow who had taken an unaccountable liking to him from their first meeting, which was apparently unusual for the mutt. “Yes, I have.”</p><p>“Right, yeah.” Calidus shook his helm. “Sorry, it’s been a rough couple mega-cycles. Anyways, I’m not about to make my dog run the whole way with us, so he’ll be in your trailer for the transit.”</p><p>He pulled a face, and Calidus patted his arm. “He likes you, you’ll be fine.”</p><p>“If your say so.” he muttered, and headed off to get his trailer loaded for the trip.</p><p>---</p><p>Driving was at once an intimately familiar and utterly novel sensation. He knew he must have used his altmode before, but he had no conscious memory of it. The Council had wiped away everything but his medical knowledge, and even that he couldn’t recall how he learnt it, save for vague impressions of <i>warmth comfort safety</i> that made his spark ache for something he couldn’t remember or define. Something which was missing.</p><p>He cruised alongside Calidus, one lane to the right and half a cab-length back from parallel, and tried to remember something, anything about his past. As usual, nothing came to him. Another big ol’ blank. Hence the nickname the Arsonists had given him, Blanks, a placeholder until he picked a designation for himself. He could already feel it starting to stick though. If he didn’t come up with something else by tomorrow morning, he’d probably just end up taking Blanks as his designation for sake of convenience.</p><p>::I can practically feel your processor working from over here.:: Calidus commed him, field pulsing out to brush amusement against his, tinged ever so slightly with concern. ::What’s eating you?::</p><p>::Nothing.:: he answered reflexively, and swerved a little in surprise. Oh, huh, apparently he had some memory of social expectations outside of proper medbay etiquette. ::Just trying to remember stuff.::</p><p>::Still coming up empty, huh?:: Calidus asked, tagging the question with subglyphs denoting it as rhetorical, no answer expected.</p><p>::Well, apparently I have a manners module.:: he quipped, and Calidus snorted. ::But aside from that, yeah, nothing’s coming to me.::</p><p>::Well, who’s to say that’s a bad thing?:: Calidus drifted closer to him, field nudging warm against his before he returned to his own lane. ::The number of fresh repairs we found on you, I don’t think the Functionists took you quietly.::</p><p>He hummed in agreement. From what Geronimo had shown him of his medical checkup, it looked like the life he couldn’t remember hadn’t been easy. His substructure showed signs of extensive self-repair consistent with long-term injury recovery, and his plating and internals had been, and in fact still were, riddled with patches that spoke to one pit of a fight in the past deca-cycle. And yet, what few scattered spark-memories he could find tagged onto things within his ability to recall were all good ones. He had been cared for, supported. Someone had made sure he was able to learn everything he needed to know to be a medic, without sending him to a Council-run academy.</p><p>::I’m glad we found you.:: Calidus sent him some time later. ::Not just because you helped us save Geronimo, but because...:: he trailed off, field flickering with mild frustration.</p><p>::I feel it too.:: he sent back, reaching his field out to brush reassurance over Calidus. ::There’s a spot in my spark where something is missing, but around you it feels... less empty.::</p><p>::It feels like I knew you before this. Like I’ve always known you, somehow.:: Calidus bounced slightly on his wheels. ::Which is weird, because I <i>know</i> I’d remember you if we’d ever met before.::</p><p>::I would agree, but seeing as I can’t remember my own name...:: he trailed off, and Calidus laughed.</p><p>::I’ll give you that.:: he sent over, subglyphs carrying the impression of a fond smile. ::But hey, Clicky trusts you. That’s enough of a starting point for me.::</p><p>::Starting point for what?:: he asked, and Calidus drifted close again, field warm with <i>affection apprehension determination</i>.</p><p>::Well, a first date at least. Maybe more, if we fit together right.::</p><p>A h. He flushed, steam puffing from his smokestacks into the chill air. ::I don’t think I’d be against that.:: he said after a moment, and Calidus immediately pinged back Joy tagged with several intensifying subglyphs.</p><p>::I’ll comm you a time and place soon as we’re settled in enough for me to get away for a klik.:: Calidus promised, returning to the middle of his chosen lane. He hummed, and for the first time since he dragged Geronimo into the Arsonists’ base allowed himself to picture a future. Not much of one, only his immediate future with Calidus, but it was still a novel experience.</p><p>He hoped they would get to cuddle. Huh, apparently he was the type of mech who enjoyed cuddles. Good, he got the feeling Calidus would be happy to give them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies to any not-logged-in readers, but due to an ex who refuses to leave me alone I have had to disable anon comments. Kudos are still open though, and if you want to scream (or would like me to write a fic for you) come check me out on Pillowfort! No account required to get my discord, and I'm always happy to chat. [<a href="https://www.pillowfort.social/GemmaRose">Link</a>]</p></blockquote></div></div>
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